


Secrets

by sweetrevelation



Category: Scrubs (TV)
Genre: Fluff, Gay Realization™, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 18:10:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12347889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetrevelation/pseuds/sweetrevelation
Summary: In which Turk and JD don't realize they're both hiding the same thing.





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> AU of 1.12, My Blind Date, where Turk breaks up with Carla as she expected. Mutual seemingly unrequited pining. Nervous gays. Gotta love it.

It was an average Tuesday night. JD and Turk were watching an old sitcom on TV. They didn’t talk -- the silence was broken only by laughter -- but they maintained their special connection, the one they’d cherished for nearly a decade. Without really noticing it, they inched closer to each other…

 

Or at least that’s how JD imagined it. It wasn’t actually Tuesday, but that seemed a more suitably random day, he mused. Turk was  _ still _ at the hospital, missing their one night together this week, leaving JD alone with a glass of wine. Wine and his thoughts. Never a good combination.

 

He wondered if Turk would really go through with ending things between him and Carla. They’d had a brief talk about it at the hospital earlier after Turk confessed that it didn’t feel right. He didn’t really articulate  _ why _ , though, and JD wasn’t sure that Turk would really have the guts. He’d tried to stay objective, give Turk good advice, but that’s hard to do when you’re in love with someone. Feigning interest in Alex Hanson from the MRI machine became significantly less appealing after discovering Turk would soon be single again, and he’d have a shot.

 

Maybe not so much a shot, more like a snowball’s chance in hell, but when have JD’s fantasies ever been realistic?

 

JD did his best to keep a smile off his face when he turned at the sound of the opening door. He couldn’t read Turk’s expression, but he certainly wasn’t happy.

 

“I did it,” Turk announced flatly. “She made me spit it out in front of everybody. And walked away before she started crying.”

 

“You wanna talk about it?” JD asked sympathetically, setting his wine on the table. “You didn’t really say much earlier.”

 

Turk groaned, but dropped down on the couch beside JD anyway. “What’s there to say?” he muttered.

 

“Come on,” JD encouraged. “Just… tell me what you’re thinking. It’ll make you feel better.”

 

“Weren’t you supposed to be flirting with some woman in an MRI machine?” Turk asked after a moment.

 

JD shrugged. “Plenty of girls get MRIs. You’ve only broken up with Carla once.”

 

Turk glanced at JD, then back at the blank TV screen. “Fine,” he relented. “I, uh, I guess I don’t really know what I feel like.”

 

“That’s okay,” JD soothed. “Are you sad?”

 

“Not really,” Turk admitted, still staring ahead. “I mean, I’m sad  _ she’s _ sad, but… you know what I mean?”

 

JD shrugged. “Maybe it hasn’t hit you yet,” he offered.

 

Turk looked unconvinced. “Maybe,” he said uncertainly. “I don’t know, man. I kind of feel like I only got with her because she was there.”

 

“Gonna get back on the horse?” JD asked, though his heart sank with every word.

 

“Not right now,” Turk mumbled. “It’s, uh, not a good idea.”

 

JD searched his brain for useful advice, but found none. “Uh, why?”

 

“Never mind,” Turk sighed. “It’s nothing.”

 

“Come on,” JD prodded with a small smile. “I’m your best friend. I get to know all your secrets.”

 

Turk shook his head. “Not this one,” he said firmly. “You can’t tell me there’s not  _ one _ secret about you I don’t know.”

 

JD swallowed as Turk raised an eyebrow at the confirmation of his theory. “Mine is different,” he said awkwardly.

 

“Well, so’s mine.” Turk crossed his arms as he finally looked back at JD. “If you can keep your secret, I can have one too.”

 

“I’ll tell you…  _ part _ of my secret,” JD offered nervously. “And, uh, it’s a good secret. Nobody knows.”

 

Turk couldn’t help but let intrigue cross his face. “How can you tell me part of a secret?”

 

JD rolled his eyes. “Okay, maybe it’s more like two related secrets. So if I tell you, you have to tell me one.”

 

“All right,” Turk said slowly. “Tell me.”

 

JD could feel his heartbeat in the pit of his stomach, but he took a moment to appreciate that his nerves were screaming  _ he’s gonna know it’s him _ and not  _ he’s gonna hate me _ \-- he felt like he could tell Turk anything at all in that moment, which could be dangerous.

 

“Secret number one,” he said, attempting cheerfulness while he stalled. “Here we go.”

 

Turk snorted. “Are you seriously that freaked about it?”

 

“No,” JD said defensively. “Just give me a second.”

 

He took a good look at Turk’s face before closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, and going to his happy place.

 

“Milkshake pool?” Turk asked amusedly, watching JD’s face.

 

“Shut up,” JD muttered, opening his eyes. “I’m gay.”

 

Turk’s eyes widened as JD tried to mentally shake away the whiplash of blurting out that sentence without really meaning to, after ages of planning the best way to break the news.

 

“Oh,” Turk finally said after an uncomfortably long pause. “I, uh… all right.”

 

JD’d had no idea what to expect, but in all his imagined scenarios, it never seemed so  _ quiet _ . Turk silently rose from the couch, brow furrowed, as JD opened his mouth to speak.

 

“Wait, Turk,” he said quickly. “It’s okay. It’s not like I’m a different person.”

 

“Just give me a minute,” Turk muttered, as if he hadn’t heard anything at all. Tears pricked JD’s eyes when Turk slammed his door.

 

He slowly walked towards Turk’s bedroom, wiping his eyes with his sleeve. “Turk?” he asked anxiously.

 

All he heard was the floor creaking -- Turk seemed to be pacing -- and his own heartbeat, this time in his ears. It had been too painful to imagine the worst-case scenarios, but he should’ve prepared for this, JD thought hopelessly.

 

“Is this not gonna be okay?” he asked the door weakly. “We’ve been friends for so long… I didn’t think it would be perfect, but not this bad.” He paused for a response, and received none. “I’m sorry I just sprang it on you. Just, please, whatever you have to do to get over it, you’re my best friend, you have to do it. Un-unless you don’t want to.”

 

JD sniffed and leaned his forehead on the door. “You didn’t even tell me your secret,” he said, unable to stop the nervous laughter, though his voice was cracking.

 

The world fell out from under him, both literally and figuratively, when the door opened and he fell into Turk’s arms. JD did everything he could to not revel in the moment.

 

“Shit, sorry,” Turk said quickly, setting JD back on his feet. “And, uh, sorry, really. I just needed a second. It’s okay.”

 

JD nodded, though he was intently studying Turk’s face for signs of another departure. “Are you sure?” he asked, more doubtfully than he intended.

 

“You know I love you, man,” Turk assured JD. “I just had to… process.”

 

JD bit his lip. “What’s there to process?” he mumbled. “If you had to process that much, it seems like you’re really uncomfortable.”

 

“Look, it’s not what you think,” Turk insisted. “I’m -- I mean, I’m  _ uncomfortable _ , but not like that…” He trailed off at JD’s hurt expression. “If you could just listen --”

 

“I’m sorry my life is so complicated for you to ‘process’,” JD said bitterly. “You know, you could make more of an eff-”

 

Shit, Turk was a good kisser.

 

As soon as JD’s brain caught up with his lips, he pulled away with a pop, staring at Turk while he tried to think through what was happening. His shocked eyes met Turk’s anxious ones for a solid four seconds, and he dragged his roommate back into a much deeper kiss.

 

Turk pushed JD gently against the living room wall -- luckily for JD, whose melting body needed the support. His arms found their way around Turk’s waist, trying to keep him as close as possible. He could only let out a rather embarrassing whimper when he felt Turk fully give into the embrace. It was all JD could do to keep hanging onto Turk, and he didn’t seem to mind. Being tugged back towards the bedroom was a welcome surprise; JD was too selfish to stop and wonder if they were ready for this, but thankfully, it wasn’t necessary.

 

* * *

 

Six hours later (in reality, it had been thirty-eight minutes -- including the three-minute break during which they fell off the bed and couldn’t stop laughing -- but JD preferred the grand romance angle), Turk was absentmindedly stroking JD’s hair, feeling more at peace than he’d been in quite a while.

 

“Hey, Turk?” JD asked suddenly, lifting his head off Turk’s chest.

 

“Yeah?”

 

JD chuckled. “You know, you never told me your secret.”

 

Turk blinked, looking down at their bare chests, then at the condoms that had been sprawled on the bed when JD couldn’t decide which color, then back at JD’s face. JD raised his eyebrows silently, waiting for a response.

 

“Dude, seriously?”

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, I'm probably never gonna publish actual smut, but rest assured it was epic and wonderful. Hope you enjoyed! If you liked this fic, please give it a reblog! [[Link](https://carlysrae.tumblr.com/post/166350081064/)]


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